Lewinsky's Evil Twin

Michelle was just one of several of my suitemates. My actual roommate was a sweet little elf who didn’t see me spend a lot of time in my own bed.

My other dormies were sisters in a sorority nicknamed “Grab-a-Thigh”. In an apparent failure of the college’s women’s studies outreach program, I think rival sororities coined the phrase.

After watching “Sliding Doors” one of the sisters cut her hair thinking the short hair on Gwyneth Paltrow was cute.  The other sister had an aunt who lived overseas and shipped her hair growing vitamins not approved in the United States. Our apartment became the final destination of many boxes of illegally smuggled placebos.

Michelle’s roommate was her bestie, Natalie. “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill” poured out of their room 24/7 killing me softly with “That Thing”.

Michelle and I bonded because we both got picked up on the Metro within days of each other and thought we were hot sh!t. Her pickup blossomed into a relationship. Not without a rocky start.

When the guy’s parents wanted to meet Michelle, they took the new couple to the Cheesecake Factory. I’ll tread lightly because I know a lot of people like the Cheesecake Factory.  But seriously, go to a Greek Diner if you want a restaurant that has advertisements on the menu.

Michelle wasn’t thrilled either. This made it more of a shock when halfway through the meal the parents apologized profusely for the restaurant choice. It turns out they didn’t like to spend a lot of money on a meal when they first meet one of their son’s girlfriends; just in case they don’t like her.

Next time they would take her somewhere fancier. Naively we took this that she was quite the catch!

“Michelle is getting a steak! Michelle is getting a steak!” we chanted. While we thought we were the hottest girls, clearly, we were the biggest idiots.

How many of these Cheesecake Factory interviews did these parents go through? Not occurring to her that he was just a lothario, Michelle dated him a good part of the semester. An expensive semester it turned out for his parents.

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