Pork Salad Annie

The result looked like a dead baby’s arm instead of just a baby arm … More Pork Salad Annie

Willard Scott, 101 Dalmatians, and the Alaskan Pipeline

I remember Matt Lauer doing the local NY news with a head full of hair and a closet devoid of dildos … More Willard Scott, 101 Dalmatians, and the Alaskan Pipeline

I Picked a Hangover For a Bad Day

It’s bad juju to steal food from an elf … More I Picked a Hangover For a Bad Day

Back to School – Burr College

The place reeked of high-income earning potential.  This was where Mummy and Daddy sent me to graduate with a M.R.S. degree … More Back to School – Burr College

Burrr… It’s Cold in Here

As not to tarnish my college with stories of my antics, I will refrain from actually naming my alma mater … More Burrr… It’s Cold in Here

Getting a Dress Down Inside the FOXhole

“He was on the phone with Clinton one of the times Monica was blowing him.”
Oh. This made him an important person indeed … More Getting a Dress Down Inside the FOXhole

The CONAN Con

I really missed the gravy train here. Especially if it is true about the height of a man and… … More The CONAN Con

Met My Old Congressman in the Grocery Store…

The man at the center of the stories I tell on repeat didn’t know who the f*ck I was … More Met My Old Congressman in the Grocery Store…

The One-Armed Man’s Potty-Posse Plan

I kept it going. I had no other choice than to embrace the farce or face looking like a bigger lunatic … More The One-Armed Man’s Potty-Posse Plan

Lulu’s Club Mardi Gras

My roommate was the ultimate conundrum: a conservative Republican with a mad crush on Dan Quayle, who once auditioned at an off-ramp titty bar … More Lulu’s Club Mardi Gras