He let us keep our finger food as he threw our badge-wearing intern asses to the curb … More Political Parties, or: The Amount of Underage Drinking I Did in the Halls of Congress is Shocking
The result looked like a dead baby’s arm instead of just a baby arm … More Pork Salad Annie
I remember Matt Lauer doing the local NY news with a head full of hair and a closet devoid of dildos … More Willard Scott, 101 Dalmatians, and the Alaskan Pipeline
“He was on the phone with Clinton one of the times Monica was blowing him.”
Oh. This made him an important person indeed … More Getting a Dress Down Inside the FOXhole
I really missed the gravy train here. Especially if it is true about the height of a man and… … More The CONAN Con
The man at the center of the stories I tell on repeat didn’t know who the f*ck I was … More Met My Old Congressman in the Grocery Store…
I kept it going. I had no other choice than to embrace the farce or face looking like a bigger lunatic … More The One-Armed Man’s Potty-Posse Plan
My roommate was the ultimate conundrum: a conservative Republican with a mad crush on Dan Quayle, who once auditioned at an off-ramp titty bar … More Lulu’s Club Mardi Gras
Yes, public urination is a crime, but so was destroying 92,000 pounds of British tea … More Honoring our Forefathers the Only Way We Knew How: Stars and Stripes Margaritas
Hot, preppy, college guys crooning soulfully have been my not-so-secret turn on since … More Aural fixation