Maybe I need to explain why I dated Boxer in the first place.
Long before the movie Pitch Perfect I tried out for a college a cappella group. Long before I was rejected from a college a cappella group, I worshiped college a cappella.
The summer before my freshman year at Burr we took a house on Martha’s Vineyard. There was a new an all-male a cappella group on the island called the Vineyard Sound.
I’m pretty sure that performance broke my hymen.
Hot, preppy, college guys crooning soulfully have been my not-so-secret turn on since.
Sophomore year I was at a fraternity party where the beer ran out. A friend introduced Boxer while I was stealing an abandoned half-full red Solo cup. Thankfully he stopped the crime in progress and walked me home.
Fast forward a couple of hours, and we were dating. Not coincidentally, my affection was awakened after learning he was a member of the all-male a cappella group. They wore navy crested blazers and white bucks.
I overlooked the fact that Boxer wasn’t a prep in real life because he played one on stage.
He had lots of solos and once dedicated one to me. Granted it was “Centerfold” which isn’t really a dedicateable song unless you are Hugh Hefner.
On Valentine’s Day, he serenaded me during art-history class with the rest of the group.
He also was a French horn or trumpet player or something and had an effective … embouchure.
Fast forward a couple of months, and I finally get the courage to try out for an a cappella group. How cute would we be? An acca-couple.
The audition was a nightmare. Probably because I’m a terrible singer.
There was a pink slip in my mailbox thanking me for trying out. I couldn’t look Boxer in the eye and stayed in bed for a couple of days. I was devastated.
Boxer wore his preppy white bucks to cheer me up. Instead, it was a sad reminder he was in an a cappella group and I wasn’t.
So, while our relationship began because of my innate desire to be around all things college a cappella, not everything with us was pitch-poor. He was, after all, a cunning linguist.
Now that’s just punny.
For help with your hymen check out: https://www.vineyardsound.org/