Oscar Week 2018: Monica’s Most Wanted (Movies She Probably Wanted to See 20 years ago but Couldn’t Because She Was In Hiding)

Armageddon vs. Deep Impact: One of two sets of movies with the same storylines to come out during this time. The other being The Last Days of Disco and 54.

Let’s be clear here, I am firmly rooted in the Armageddon camp.

Deep Impact had Morgan Freeman as the President, so it definitely had the advantage. Unfortunately, the whole thing was a Debbie Downer, and almost everyone died.

Elijah Wood and his teenage bride Leelee Sobieski survived. Did the wedding ring have magical powers?  How cool would it be if he called her ‘my precious’ during the wedding scene?

Armageddon couldn’t have failed. It was a glossy, fast-paced, based on absolutely no science, movie.

Ben Affleck even got new teeth for the role. Aerosmith started to look old.

Sometime in autumn, it was released on VHS, and I had to have it. By that point, my funds were dwindling, but it was a worthwhile purchase indeed.

Right before everything switched to DVD.

The Last Days of Disco vs. 54: I’m going to declare a winner here too; it’s The Last Days of Disco. Whit Stillman movies are set in the 1980s and full of upper-crust, good-looking, educated intellectuals who banter about social economic mores.

A so-so review in the Washington City Paper described The Last Days of Disco as the same as his other movies but set to a Diana Ross and Sister Sledge soundtrack.

I’m sure the reviewer meant the description to be off-putting, but it made me want to see it that much more.

This movie could have easily been titled “Beautiful People Drinking Vodka Tonics.”

The Last Days of Disco address some heavier themes of depression, miscarriage, and herpes, but 54 hits you over the head with them.

Mike Myers in his first movie not based on an SNL skit and nails it as 54 club owner Steve Rubell.

Actually, that’s not true. I don’t think that I Married an Ax Murderer is based on an SNL skit. Though I bet Lorne Michaels was a producer.

It’s all fun and games at the club until someone dies. In 54 it’s the old woman from The Wedding Singer that pays in meatballs.

She’s a club regular who does blow and ODs on the dance floor. But she’s also a doting grandma who pays for Ryan Phillipe’s venereal disease medication.

There is also a cloud of “AIDS is almost here” thundering throughout the film. You know, a little fun for everyone.

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