Hard-Core Christians Are Raping Your Freedom (but not Her!)

The most important member of The Congressman’s permanent staff was arguably Sister.

Peter and I sat behind Sister (aka Sister) who entered a convent in 1928.  Looking for new challenges, she was hired by The Congressman in the 70s and was a spry, healthy old bird that everyone loved.

When Archie made fun of me for not knowing who Mark McGuire was, he screamed: “Even Sister knows who that is!”  And sure enough, she did.

Sister mostly opened and sorted the mail, and it seemed to make her happy.  Peter and I learned from her that Larry Flynt mails free, unsolicited issues of Hustler to the office of each member of Congress.  He’s been doing this for over thirty years.

Some of the most informative and well-researched articles during my tenure in the office, “Swap Meat for Marrieds”, “Six Starlets vs. 50 Horny Guys”, and “Take the Viagra Taste Test”.   Interestingly, all from the November 1998 issue.

September’s “Religious Right Invades Washington: Hard-Core Christians Are Raping Your Freedom” seemed a little fabricated.

Since pornography isn’t something most Congressmen put out for constituents in their waiting room, there were strict policies to get the cellophane-wrapped adult magazine out of the office and dispose of it immediately.

Flynt caught on and started mailing them in a regular manila envelope with no return address.

Hundreds like it arrive each day, so each time poor Sister opened a manila envelope she was playing Russian roulette with her Catholic modesty.

Opening mail is usually an intern’s job.  Since our generation knew the importance of recycling, the rest of the copies found second homes under mattresses all over the city.

 

 


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