Down with Greggy and Dougy and Some of the Other Hitler Youth

Peter and Putty ended up sharing platonic custody of me that semester.  Peter was my Ducky and Putty was my Blaine.  And I’m sure their four other roommates loved that.

I was always around.

I was around when they did drunken Karaoke and kept a picture of Putty singing that night next to my bed.

I was around during down times and totally called it while watching Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Parlor that Ryan Reynolds would be a star.

I was around every morning to walk out to the Metro station with them.

I guess if their dorm was a fraternity, I was their ‘House Ho’.  And a generally unwelcome one at that.

Peter clearly thought little of Putty but understood why I liked him.  He also didn’t beat me over the head with what a stalker I was.

He actually said that I completed Putty’s image of himself.  This was not an admiring comment.

Putty had gone on a couple of dates with a young, stupid looking blonde in our building who was in a different college program.  Peter pointed out Putty didn’t invite her.

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“And I’m not sure why not.  I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers,” he felt the need to add.

Peter explained that Putty was using me because I was more presentable.  Sort of like JFK marrying Jackie to help his political aspirations even though he kept philandering.

I didn’t care.  Plus, that night at the party I did my first body shot.

Putty’s loss that it wasn’t off him.


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