Leg Up: Part 3

The party was ruined by my tears, so we left. But it was still early.

So Peter, with one drunk and one hysterical drunk passenger in tow, decided to drive us to his old high school. To trespass.

St. Albans shares a campus with the National Cathedral, so in addition to trespassing on the school’s private property, it was also sacred.

While Jesus would forgive us, I’m pretty sure the D.C. police department wouldn’t.

Peter’s idea wasn’t all bad. The weather was beautiful and the night was clear. The cathedral was lit up and magnificent. We wandered its manicured gardens and laughed.

As the token sober, Peter was the most alert and first to notice the light approaching.

“I got it guys – don’t talk,” he begged as the night watchman came into focus.

“I got this. I’ll say I go to Miss Porter’s. He can’t kick us out. I go here.”

“Tracey, that makes no sense, shut up.”

It made perfect sense to me. Peter’s sister went to Miss Porter’s. Peter went to St. Albans. St. Albans has a sister school. Therefore, the sister school was Miss Porter’s.

Deductive reasoning can be a b*tch when you’re drunk.

In actuality St. Albans’ sister school is the National Cathedral School. They share a campus. Miss Porter’s School is in Farmington, Connecticut.

This would explain the guard’s expression when I started trying to reason with him. “I go to Miss Porter’s!”

I overenthusiastically told him, “I was only showing my friends my school!”

Peter physically stepped between me and the befuddled officer. In hushed tones, he tried to ‘Peter’ his way out of the situation. I should have just let him. But, I’m not going to be ignored, Dan!

With a puffy, tear-stained face, I kept playing the lunatic; jumping up and down behind Peter, repeating that I went there. I went to Miss Porter’s. I had a right to be there.

Peter ignored me. Dougie tried to quiet me. The guard didn’t want to deal with me. He told us to go. Immediately vacate the premises. Or else. Peter dragged me by the arm to the car.

“Well, it’s a good thing for you boys that I was there to talk to the guard.”

Peter and Dougie didn’t respond, but gave each other a knowing glance,

“Why couldn’t she have fallen off the roof?”


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