Leg Up: Part 2

In addition to the girl who I’ll call Razor Burn, Callie’s other roommate Mr. Personality probably wasn’t inviting anyone interesting.

Knowing what I was getting into, including Round 2 of Shaving 101, I invited everyone on the program to come serve as wingmen for the night.

Peter took me up on it, although he wasn’t a fan of Callie and vice versa.

I made sure they were at the same table at my wedding.

Another one of Peter’s roommates tagged along. His name was Dougie.

His name was not Dougie, but everyone called him Dougie because he looked like the Nickelodeon character, Doug. He was short, had spiky white blonde hair, had a nose like a dinner roll, and had beady little black eyes.

Dougie was a good guy. He roomed with a guy whose name also escapes me, but I hooked up with later back on campus after he kept trying to impress me with the fact that his purple club shirt came from the French Connection. (I told you I was their House Ho).

We went, we drank, no big whoop. Peter was driving so he was keeping his cool on the booze. I remember this distinctly because it was integral to the frightening part of the story. This is one of those moments that flood me with anxiety to this day. No SSRI can help with this memory.

We scaled the apartment building to the roof.

This wasn’t a small building. It was several stories high, and a fall would have resulted in immediate death. Dougie, Peter, Razor Burn and I climbed it. I immediately realized the predicament I was in, and started freaking out. After all, we still had to climb down. I was going to become a cautionary tale! Like those kids who jump from balconies into pools during spring break.

Peter thought I was just being “Tracey” and didn’t realize that I was probably on the cusp of genuinely hyperventilating. He assured me that he hadn’t been drinking and there was no way he would let me get hurt.

That must have calmed me down enough to get down the ladder and to safety. I couldn’t even take solace in knowing that if I had fallen to my death, at least my lifeless legs would have been silky smooth.


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