The Blue Bell Zombie Sorority

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During my two months there I made two dollars a day, allotted a Krispy Kreme donut alternating Fridays, and perfected my online solitaire skills.

I worked for two twenty-two or twenty-three-year-old chummy former southern sorority girls who now, thanks to a call from Daddy, had their first job out of college as department administrators.

One sister said she graduated from “Samford.”  I thought, “This girl was smart enough to get into Stanford, but can’t pronounce it?”

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Well, now I know…

Once in a while, they sent me to hand deliver something to the Capitol, but other than that, I just sat there day after day.

So did the Blue Bell Sorority Sisters.

The department waiting room must have looked a sight.  Everyone with their head bent back slightly with our mouths open.  The result of hours of playing computer games.

We looked like Junior-League dressed zombies waiting to give head to whoever moved the computer monitor out of the way first.

After the semester was over, I was worried about my internship recommendation.  So, I wrote the Blue Bell Sorority Sisters an apology note saying that I wished I could have done more to push the Foundation’s “initiatives” forward.

I wanted, no deserved, that recommendation.  I did not spend months pretending not to care when I wasn’t invited to lunch for nothing!

Ultimately it didn’t matter.  Any potential employer who called was greeted by a new zombie sorority girl who never heard of me and hung up the phone as soon as possible so she could get back to her game of Tetris.

 

 

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The “Blue Bell” Foundation is not it’s real name!

The Blue Bell Foundation counts Ronald Reagan as a fan.  While they have a lobbying arm now, they didn’t before 2010.  Their purpose as a conservative political think tank is to make hard-line recommendations to policymakers about marriage, religion, accountability of local government, etc.

The Government Relations Department, where I interned, is its liaison arm.

You know, you can also google “think tank” to find this sh*t out…


3 thoughts on “The Blue Bell Zombie Sorority

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